Melbourne Conservatorium of Music - Theses
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ItemIn the realm of phobia: exploring the duration of repetitive schizogenesis and ambiguous morphs( 2012)This research explores the ‘in-between’ as a field of encounter, collision, penetration and fission in visual art practice. I accommodate my own phobia and its power as the main discourse to traverse the gap between the conscious and the unconscious, and to retrieve latent memories along with emotions and sensations. By examining how fear influences me, and triggers paranormal phenomena in perception, I acknowledge fear as a predominant impulse in making art for it constantly reaffirms its significance within my work. I have referred to Freud and Jung’s ideas about the function and meaning of dreams in order to adequately inform my metaphysical and psychoanalytic approaches to investigating the ambiguous mind, thought processes and the recursive nature of fear. I have drawn on discourses by Bergson and Deleuze for my commentary around transitioning between psychical and physical manifestations of fear. This is followed by an exploration of Kristeva’s theory of the abject to highlight the subversive terrain of the ‘in-between’. Thus as a metaphor for unnameable frailty or want, which is to be faced and overturned, then acknowledged in its indispensability, I spit out my own phobia through the process of spontaneous thinking, making and becoming. My thesis accompanies a set of drawings that are made with combination of unassuming and conflicting materials; charcoal, shellac, paper and aluminium, in order to achieve unusual or unexpected phenomena that perturb mundane thoughts. Through the repetitive process of (de)activating the materials’ natural properties, I ultimately experience a contemplative state of mind that embraces transcendental memories. In this arena I explore the possibility of art making as a pathway to understanding the self. I have gained a deeper understanding about my practical processes in the studio, and the prevailing psyche that motivates, drives and informs my art. Hence, this research has allowed me to explore what has been overlooked in the continuum of my daily life, and to revisit things that were sacrificed over the course of obedience to social or cultural standards, values and conventions. Furthermore, my investigation around the process orientated approach to creative work has reassured me of the liberating force and cathartic potential of making art.